This is a short Taster on a piece I started some time ago. Once you read my Taster, please visit the other participating author's who are offering you a tidbit, a taste, of their works-in-progress. You can follow the link below.
The premise is that a woman is in labor in a ramshackle tarpaper shanty during a horrible storm in a small South Georgia home. She is alone except for her young children, who fear for her life as her screams grow louder with her contortions, contractions and blood. The storm, and Liayama's screams, mask the sound of three men who enter through the front door. The men bring awful things to the vunerable inhabitants of the small poor home. This story is about Liayama's revenge, Liayama's Fury, though it takes decades after their murderous assault to exact the bittersweet success.
The wind, in crushing anger,
swept in crashing swirls around the low country shack the small family called
home. The children, huddled in the
semi-darkness on a mattress in the corner, clung to one another in fear. The screaming howls were just as loud inside
the little house as outside and the children cried in panic for their Mama who
lay across the room screaming in pain.
The labor contractions seemed agonizing, worse this time than the three
times before she brought her other young ones into the world. The screams and cries both inside and out of
the tarpaper shack wracked in mounting, rhythmic harmonic waves terrorizing the
young witnesses within. In the fury and
the madness, the only sound that Kailynn heard was the ear-piercing wailing
from her Mama. She could not hear the
panic screams and cries of her sisters or her brother. She could not hear the leveling fury of the
pounding rain on the thin walls of the slough country home nor upon the tin
roof above the two room shelter.
The premise is that a woman is in labor in a ramshackle tarpaper shanty during a horrible storm in a small South Georgia home. She is alone except for her young children, who fear for her life as her screams grow louder with her contortions, contractions and blood. The storm, and Liayama's screams, mask the sound of three men who enter through the front door. The men bring awful things to the vunerable inhabitants of the small poor home. This story is about Liayama's revenge, Liayama's Fury, though it takes decades after their murderous assault to exact the bittersweet success.
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| Acknowledgement ~ Google Images Liayama's Fury |
Screaming above the thundering
storm, Kailynn’s Mama held her belly and rolled in agony with another
contraction. Jumping to her feet,
Kailynn ran to her Mama’s bedside screaming above the thunderous clap, what
could she do to help? Her Mama muffled a
word in response wrapped in a wail. What
was that she said as she cried…..towel?
Kailynn turned to the sink and grabbed a clean towel from the shelf
below and wiped her Mother’s face tenderly.
Her Mama grabbed the towel, wide-eyed and frantic then stuffed it into
her mouth as she stared blankly, wildly at her young daughter. Bearing down hard with the contraction, her
face turned red with pressure, her eyes bulged, her neck thickened, carotid
arteries filled and pulsed as the veins in her face cut rivers across the
landscape that was once her Mama’s beautiful features. Kailynn took a horrified step back, unsure at
only 10 years old, what she was watching and what she should do.
Their Mama, relaxing after what
seemed an eternity, tried calmly to reassure her daughter’s paralyzing terror while
she had a moment. She rubbed her belly
gently and outstretched her legs, then rolled to her side drawing her knees up
slightly as she was trying in vain to relieve the pressure in the small of her
back.
or
I feel for the ten year old daughter Katilynn. What fear and emotions were going through her as her mother bellowed the pain of giving birth, no man comprehends but a woman. You have described the fury and chaos of the scene preciselt to the mother's experience as viewed through Katilynn. Thesse sentences vividly set the scene for that night. "The children, huddled in the semi-darkness on a mattress in the corner, clung to one another in fear. The screaming howls were just as loud inside the little house as outside and the children cried in panic for their Mama who lay across the room screaming in pain." As always your writing explores and details powerful emotions and a story desperately in need of sharing.
ReplyDeleteExcellent! I could really feel Kailyn's terror. The pain her Mama seemed to be enduring and affecting her must have frightened, panicked and upset Kailyn to the limit
ReplyDeleteYou portrayed this moment perfectly. Your words made the taster so real. Please continue this story. I love it!
I like that you chose to do this from the view of Kailyn. It gave a unique touch to what was happening and your descriptions put me right there with her.
ReplyDeleteSuch intense imagery. You can feel the pulse of it. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI agree, very intense! I get the feeling the author has seen women through some tough labors, because the detail in this is so specific and authentic.
ReplyDelete